


A Split Lip

by pushupindrag



Category: Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Anger Management, Angst, M/M, Minor Violence, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-10
Updated: 2015-11-10
Packaged: 2018-05-01 00:58:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5186168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pushupindrag/pseuds/pushupindrag
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky knows Steve has a hard time dealing with his anger, but it's the middle of the night and all he wants is for Steve to go to bed, resulting in him accidentally getting punched in the face.</p>
<p>
  <i>Bucky walks into the gym to see Steve at the punching bag. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Again. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Never mind it being the middle of the night, Bucky knew that Steve hadn’t even gone to bed. He should know, he shared it with him.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Split Lip

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like Steve would have quite a few anger issues after waking up but would never really talk about them and keep everything bottled up so have my take on that.
> 
> I have a tumblr [here](http://buckybdarnes.tumblr.com/) if you wanna check that out.
> 
> Un'beted so any mistakes are my own, please tell me if you find any :)

Bucky walks into the gym to see Steve at the punching bag.

Again.

Never mind it being the middle of the night, Bucky knew that Steve hadn’t even gone to bed. He should know, he shared it with him.

“Steve!” He calls out, but gets no answer. Just the rhythmic sound of a fist hitting the sand filled leather. The gym was starting to get a little muggy despite it being a rather large room and the windows had been tinted. Equipment was strewn everywhere and three beaten and broken punching bags were lying neatly next to the door.

“Steve!” He tries again, moving himself from the doorway to walk over when he doesn’t get an answer for the second time.

Quickly stalking over, he starts grumbling to himself. This was the fourth time this week that Steve had done this. And he had been sleeping less and less. Bucky was worried.

Worried and tired. So he wastes no time in walking around to move the punching bag out of the way. Except he did it while Steve was mid, rather forceful punch, so he gets a face full of fist instead.

He should have been able to take it really, it wasn’t the worst thing that had happened. But he was unprepared so he goes reeling, stepping back a couple of paces as the punching bag swings back into place.

There’s a moment of horrified silence, a gasped breath and split lip, before Steve is rushing over to Bucky.  
  
“Bucky I am so sorry, I didn’t see you and then I couldn’t stop the swing I’m so sorry!” He’s fussing, using the hem of his shirt to wipe away the blood on Bucky’s lip. “I’m so sorry Buck.”  
  
“Hey, it’s okay. Don’t worry about it. I shouldn’t have got your attention like that” Bucky chuckles, gently moving Steve’s hands away from his face to hold in his own “But now that I have it. Come to bed. It’s late.” His lip was still bleeding a little, but it would be healed soon enough.  
  
“No I can’t. Especially not after I just hurt you!” Steve pulls away, backing up while shaking his head “I hurt you Buck, I never want to do that and I have done and.” He chokes back a breath, and there was a panic behind his eyes that Bucky was sad to admit he saw on a regular basis. The anger and heat had gone as Steve seems to crumple before Bucky, hunching over and cowering from himself. The blonde takes a few more steps backwards before turning on his heel and fleeing.

Bucky was used to these freak outs, but normally they came from him. So he doesn’t know where Steve goes, and Bucky hadn't ever wanted to invade Steve’s privacy by asking.

Instead he goes searching, giving Steve time to calm down a little, possibly cry it out if needs be. He didn’t like Bucky seeing him cry. Which Bucky thought was bullshit considering Steve had seen him cry countless times and nothing had changed between them. However, he liked respecting Steve’s wishes.

He finds Steve under their bed, shaking and crying, snot dribbling down his face as he tries to hold it all in.

“I’m sorry Buck.” He whispers when Bucky shuffles under the bed beside him. Bucky doesn’t do anything but take Steve’s hand in his.

“What’s the matter Stevie, you know I can take a punch. Have always been able to.” Chuckling, he thinks back to when Steve was skinny, the ‘fights’ they got into and the fights Steve had to be rescued from.

Steve just grips onto Bucky’s hand tighter, sing his free had to wipe at his face.

“I never wanted to hurt you Buck, and then I made you bleed. I was just so angry that I couldn’t hear you or see you until I saw the blood.” Voice hoarse and quiet, Steve talks to the bottom of the bed. “Normally I just stay in the gym until the anger fades for a little bit but lately.” He sucks in a breath, and Bucky longs to feel that breath under his hands but he stays where he is. “Lately the anger just won’t go away.”

“And that scares you?”

“Of fucking course it scares me.” Laughing, in a borderline hysterical manner, Steve shakes his head “I’m getting worse. Normally I’d just punch my problems away. Spar with everyone, get my exercise done and then I’d be able to maybe rest easy. But that’s just not working lately.”

It’s cool under the bed, and the way Steve looks in the shadows tells Bucky that he must hide here often. “But I’m seeing red more often I can’t get all my anger out. I’m just furious at everything lately.”

“You know why you get angry?” Bucky got angry for no reason some times. It would hit him out of nowhere whenever he least expected it. He understood anger.

“Sometimes.” Steve admits, free hand going up to trace at the mattress. “Sometimes it’s about you. About why I couldn’t save you. Or about Peggy or the Howlies. Or the lives we put at risk, the people we can’t save. What fucking Hydra put you through or about what I let Howard and Erskine do to me.” It’s like once he starts he can’t stop as he continues, eyes glazing as he talks. “Or I get angry about losing time. You know I lose time sometimes? Mostly hours, a few times I’ve lost days to battle planning and my own head. I get angry about the team, with the team, for the team. I mainly get angry with myself, for hiding. For not doing enough. For doing too much. For being so conflicted.” He’s laughing again, and Bucky doesn’t need to see that it’s because he’s crying too.

“You get angry for no reason too?” Bucky’s gentle with his question.

“Yeah, I guess you know what I’m talking about. Sorry, I know I shouldn’t be like this. And what I’ve been through is nothing like what you’ve had to endure-“

“Shut the fuck up Steve.” Bucky cuts Steve off, squeezing the man’s hand tighter. “We’ve both been through things. And you have every right to be angry, just like I do. We’ve both got a shit load of problems and that’s okay too.” He finally looks over at his boyfriend, finding that Steve was finally looking at him, squinting in the darkness. “It’s good to be angry. Show’s they didn’t break you. It’s alright. You’re not hurting anybody.”

“But I hurt you! I’ve never hurt anybody out of anger, or not people who didn’t deserve it anyway.” He’s back to looking at the bed, head thumping off the floor a few times “You don’t deserve my anger Buck. Out of everybody you don’t deserve my anger.”

“A bloody lip doesn’t do shit to me Steve. If you’re worried about me you don’t need to be, I’m healed up already.” Metal hand going up to his lip, he can feel that it’s healed well, thin scab already in place. “Don’t worry about being angry. However, you’re not dealing with it so great.”

“Why ‘cause I hurt you?”

“No, because you only just told me about how you’re feeling. You remember how much talking I did in the beginning?” He waits until Steve nods “Yeah, well it’s your turn buddy. Even if you don’t go to a therapist, I’m always here to listen.”

“I don’t want to be a burden like I used to.” Steve looks like he’s close to crying again so Bucky finally puts his metal arm the super soldier, rolling onto his side in the cramped space, lifting the bed up a little as he tries his best to cradle Steve.

“You weren’t a burden then and you aren’t a burden now. Come on, we’d be way more comfortable in bed. Unless you feel better under here.”

“No, I think I’m okay now.” Steve pushed Bucky away, rolling out on one side while Bucky does the same.

Their backs seem to crack in sync and they both wince before Steve goes to wash his face, leaving Bucky to get back into bed and settle.

At least now he and Steve would communicate better, even if his lip was admittedly still a little bit tender.

Bucky cuddles up to Steve instantly once the blonde gets into bed, pulling the covers right above their heads as he tucks his and Steve’s feet into the blankets at the end.

“Now sleep okay, we can talk more in the morning.”

“Alright Buck.” Steve leans forward to kiss Bucky’s top lip, lips lingering as he apologises without words. When he breaks away he’s blinking sleepily “I am sorry.”

“Shut up punk.” Before settling down Bucky ducks back down, capturing Steve’s mouth in his own as they kiss for a second, letting the last remaining tension drain from Steve as he runs his tongue along the blonde’s lips. “Go to sleep.”

Steve doesn’t say anything, but he snuggles down into Bucky’s chest as Bucky curls the best he can around him.

They’d be okay. Their anger wouldn’t define them. Everything would be fine as long as they had each other.

Sleep finally comes quickly and easily for the both of them.


End file.
